the Great Art
by the DragonBard
Summary: A One-shot joke fic. Hope you like it.


The Great Art  
  
A Ranma 1/2 spamfic  
  
by:  
  
The DragonBard  
  
I do not own any of the characters represented in this work. They are the creation of their respective owners. In particular, Ranma 1/2 is owned by Rumiko Takahashi, and Viz Communications. This is purely a work of fan fiction. I make no money from this work, and have no intention of making any money from this.  
  
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The crowd gathered to watch the latest of Ranma's challenge fights. The usual faces were around; Nabiki was plying her trade, gathering a few last minute bets, the fathers were stuffing their faces, and the fiancee's watched confident in Ranma's winning, while Akane and Kasumi looked on anxiously. A few days ago, Ryouga had shown up with a challenge to Ranma, proclaiming how Ranma would be beatten by Ryouga's new unstoppable technique.  
  
As usual, Ranma was publicly confident, secretly nervous about this new attack. Every time Ryouga came up with a new one, Ranma was hard put to beat it. Especially when Ryouga first used the Shishi Houkodan.  
  
It was then that Ranma had realized that he only came up with new attacks when someone else forced his hand, usually to counter someone else's new attack or technique. Ranma had then and there decided to develop his own techniques, just has his own father had many years ago. But what to base them on?  
  
It was when Nabiki was watching some American cartoons on the TV that Ranma got his brainstorm. He had quickly gone on a training mission, after all, it would be at least a week or two before Ryouga would find his way back to Nerima.  
  
It turned out to be a week and a half later that Ryouga had shown back up, just before Ranma had, for once. Fortunately, Ranma was ready.  
  
The pair faced each other across the field.  
  
"This is where we first fought after you ran away from our fight Ranma, and this is where you will pay for everything you've done!" Ryouga proclaimed.  
  
"Gods, you're taking lessons from Kuno, haven't you." Ranma chuckled. "Can't you come up with anything better to do? Like figure out how to leave a building without help?"  
  
Ryouga screamed in rage.  
  
"Die Ranma!" He slammed his fist to the ground. "Earth Trembles Under Heaven's Rage Fist/Technique!"  
  
The ground trembled, and the assembled students covered their ears as pillars of fire, like lightening, appeared to link the heavens and earth between Ranma and Ryouga, each one unleashing a roar as if the world was ending. Ranma didn't even have time to blink before the final pillar appeared around him. When the pillars vanished, and the rumbling stopped, all that remained, was a pile of ashes.  
  
"I've done it. I finally beat Ranma!" Ryouga said in a dazed voice. The technique was extremely draining, even more so than the Perfect Shishi Houkodan. However, it was worth it.  
  
Finally.  
  
He had won.  
  
"Well, I wouldn't say that, P-chan."  
  
Two sapphire blue eyes looked out from the pile of chared ashes that had once been Ranma Saotome.  
  
The pile of ashes began to unzip itself, and out stepped Ranma, good as new. Everyone was stunned when Ranma seemed to come back from the dead. It wasn't possible! For a second, Akane thought that Ranma might have somehow picked up Saffron's immortality ability when he defeated Saffron. She dismissed it as ludicrous, however.  
  
"Now it's my turn, Pig-boy." Ranma said. He then stuck his thumb in his mouth, and blew. His entire hand expanded like a balloon until it was almost the size of Ryouga's upper body. Ranma then punched Ryouga in the chest, sending him flying into the air.  
  
Ranma shook his hand, and it quickly returned to normal size. He then raced over to where Ryouga had ploughed into the ground, and astoundingly, helped pick him up, and dust him off!  
  
Ryouga knocked Ranma's hands away, growling at him.  
  
"I don't know how you did it Ranma, but your new technique isn't going to save you." Ryouga charged at Ranma.  
  
What followed after was to go down in the record books as the strangest fight in all of Nerima (and considering that one of those fights had involved tea ceremony, that's saying something.) Everytime that Ryouga attacked, some physical impossibility would foul him up, or harm him: anvils falling from the sky, holes somehow appearing in the ground to drop Ryouga into their depths, Ranma would transform into something else (though it was always a rather bad disguise, not his Jusenkyo curse working) and confuse Ryouga.  
  
The match finally ended when Ryouga charged at his foe, almost exhausted, and Ranma pulled out a poster covered by a picture of a landscape, and Ryouga actually ran right into the picture! Ranma then promptly folded it, and slipped it into his pocket.  
  
Everyone crowded around Ranma, especially Genma who grabbed his son, yelling, "Where did you learn those techniques boy?"  
  
Ranma quitely pulled out a whole carrot, and started munching on it, as an anvil dropped on to Genma's head.  
  
"It's Warner-Fu, Pops. My own invention. What'cha think?" He said.  
  
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I know that Metroanime wrote a fic somewhat similar to this, in one of his Omake chapters. However, I came up with the idea some time before he released his fic. Not to mention his is much better than mine is, but that's to be expected from someone like him. ^_^  
  
This is meant as a joke version of another fic I'm working on, where Ranma learns stuff from television and movies and such. Originally I was planning on putting this out back in April, in time for April Fools, but problems with my muse prevented that.  
  
Hope you enjoy.  
  
Thanks to Lufio for the comments which helped improve this work. 


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